How do you measure your success

My life could have tuned out very different if people in my life accepted what doctors and educators told them.  At one time, the things that are done now would have never been accepted and noticed due to the fact that it was not considered normal in most of the world’s eyes.

If I had accepted things in my life as they were, my life would not have turned out the way it has so far.  Imagine going through life thinking you were perfect and not realizing that there were areas that you needed help with?   The longer you don’t recognize and these areas, the more difficult your life will be in the long run if you don’t seek out and get help to make things easier.

That was me once upon a time …. If it has to be this, there’s no way in HELL I’m going to do that NO! NO! NO WAY!   

 I once would have told you that I would have said if I can’t to it this way, I’m not going to do that at all.   Where would that have gotten me? I’ll tell you it would of not of gotten me very far.  There would have never been any improvements, just acceptance and not the good kind of acceptance but kind of a resigning myself to that’s just how it is and we cannot do anything about it. 

This is how my life would be….

I was born July 9, 1984 with complications that would leave me with some disabilities, a physical disability called cerebral palsy and some learning disabilities caused by the cerebral policy.  Now naturally that means I will never do anything without assistance.

What if….  Mom and Dad reacted with disappointment and resignation.  “What are we going to do?”  They would say I guess these are things that we are going to have to accept.   She is going to need a lot of care because as the doctors said she is not going to be able to anything that we can do.  She will have trouble walking, and talking.  She may have to me home schooled.   She won’t have very many friends other than family, and will probably be placed in a group home with other people who are mostly different.  She won’t be able to live independently.  We won’t be able to do what we want, when we want, having to take a vote on almost every option given to us to make the decision on her future that is being suggested.”

The options to the paths, roads whatever you want to call them, can change.  You might have to go back and remind yourself that maybe I need to look at the small picture so that the big picture does not look so foggy and does not turn into “it’s impossible“.  If you have the passions for something you should never give up on them and through patience and drive you can be as successful as you are capable of becoming.   Sometimes there are changes that you need to make in order to achieve success.

It is very rare that you end up doing what you dreamed of as a kid and that your hobbies turn into your dream job.  If I had not taken the chances that I did, my life would not have tuned out as it has so far.  Success does not always come by how much you earn or by the status of your job but by all the times you succeed when no one thinks you can instead of taking the easy way and just settling because you are afraid to fail. 

           

independence

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Independence… I have lived most of my life feeling I was normal and nothing can or will stop me from doing anything that I wanted to do!  The things that most people would assume that I can not do, I have found a way to prove those people wrong and show them never to assume just because the system tells you something, it is so.

People are often told that if you or your child has a disability they will never be able to do something normally but they can try it but most likely they are going to fail.  At one-point people with disabilities where institutionalized and not kept in their local communities.  The theory was out of site out of mind. Thankfully, it is different for people with disabilities today.  However, there is still some ways to go before the stigma of being disabled goes away completely.

Well what if you proved to those people all wrong?  I was told by many people that a lot of things that I am able to do I wouldn’t be able to do.  Yes, I need some help but I have learned to adapt.  I am very independent and always mange to find a way to do for myself, even if I have to do it a different way or it takes me more time than some people. I think that everyone should at lest have the chance to live as independent as possibly, so that way they do not have to feel like they are always having to relay on the help of others.

Some people have a certain stereotype in their mind for people that are disabled.  They are told that they should have a certain look and live a certain way.  It is sad that most people with disabilities will never hold a full-time job.  However, there is always hope.  I have mild learning and physical disabilities that have not stopped me.  I was going to school and working two part-time jobs and never stopped me from trying to prove the system wrong.  There is nothing better then having the feeling that you are doing your best to make it better for the next generation so that they have it better than yours had it.

 I have always worked hard to make sure that people are aware that there is nothing wrong with being different and speaking up for you.  There is nothing wrong with making your voice is being heard, for the things that you feel that should be changed for the future.  It might take a while for the things that you envision happening, however the more patient you are and the more determined you are to make changes the more likely there will be of finding success.  Change in this event can be a very good thing.   

Acceptance

Acceptance—everybody wants to be accepted no matter what they do.  As individual people, we can be our worst critic.  Some people think that they can’t do something because of some label that they might have, such as “handicapped.”  For the person who does not have any physical challenges at all, it would be harder for them to do things one-handed then the ten different ways that you as a person have had to learn.  You will do almost anything to show that nothing is going to stop you from proving those people wrong.

Sometimes it takes a long time to accept things.  I mean no one wants to be told they will never be able to do something.  If I had a dollar for everything that someone told me that I will never do …. I would be rich!  Things that you want come from working hard and never accepting defeat.  As you have heard, where there is a will, there is a way.  No one does things the same way or lives the same lifestyle.  Everyone’s life is different.  Some will never have the opportunities as others do, some people let their fears hold them back and do not take as many chances.  It is all about accepting your best way of how to live life to the best of your ability and to live as independently as possible.

The world was not always like how we know it today—group homes, supported living and being involved in the community.  The system still has a lot of work to do but there have been many positive changes from where we have come.

If you did not have some form of disability, you were okay to be see out in the world.  However, if you had any sense of being or looking different where you might do harm to something or someone else, you were put away and never seen.  You were never spoken of other than among close family members.  They were not treated like people but more like just objects and look down on.  What kind of world is that?!  I would never want to live that way.  It sounds like a nightmare.  Hearing about all the things that went on and thinking that it was once legal to do such things its mind blowing, it leaves you speechless.  To think that could have been me if I was born 25 years before!