We could be Hero's

What makes a person a Hero? By definition it means a person who is admired or idolized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.  But if you asked a kid they might give a definition more like a superhero such as Batman, Superman,  the Flash etc. Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes and can mean different things to many different people,

Like everything there is a villain with every hero.  How do you spot the good guys from the bad guys?  Some might say by proving those negitive thoughts wrong and showing them the positive sides of things. Sometimes the things that make them stand out that make them different are not so bad.

Everyone is a hero in their own way, you just have to figure out what make them stand out. It takes a lot to do what you believe in and drown out all the bad guys.  You don’t have to wear a mask and a cape either.   

Sometimes the hero is the one that does not wear the mask and cape. They could be the person that does not even realize that they are a hero until they look back at all the things that have made them and what drives them to become who they hope to be.

Then the day comes and they can see how far they have come and that by taking those long roads are way more staighing then the short ones. We are all put on this world for a reason and everything that happened to us and the people that we meet. There is nothing wrong with being different; it’s more of what makes you stand out from the rest and not just blending in with the crowed. The people that stand out as hero’s are not the John Cena, Jeff Dunums, Dark Jeters, its more the people like Zach Gowen, Josh Blue, and Jim Abbott.

 To many people, those names may not mean much, they may not have been in the spotlight for very long, however it was long enough to make themselves stand out to someone and show them that standing out vs. fitting with the crowd can be pretty cool. Maybe they might be someone’s hero too.

the choices are in your hands

 Your transition meeting is when all the big choices are placed on the table, the choices that are considered the critical of support. I remember mine, it was my Medicaid Service Coordinator, my parents, the head of Special Education Department, and the teachers. I have never been one to go with the crowd.  I like to be the one to stand out. Why do something just because you are expected to?  Why not be the voice that changes things to make things better instead of accepting them?

There are things that we are forced to accept, there are things that we should never accept and then there are things that you might have to meet in the middle to move forward.  Sometimes people may not agree with you and what you think and what you are doing.  They may have doubts and imagine something different for you. But at the end of the day it is about what you want for yourself, not about what others feel that is best for you. Your visions can change, but your passion and drive of what keeps you motivated should never go away.

The things we do happen for a reason.  There are many forks in the road and sometimes we need to choose the road less travelled and we might have to go down that road alone and pick the people that will support us in the best possible way they know how to.

There were two roads I could have gone down at this meeting.  One road would have led me to go to a vocational school and graduate with a certificate of completion get have a full time job at the age of age 18 years old, but I shocked them all the staff and said “No”!  I don’t want that; I want to go away to School to further my education!  With confusing looks on their faces, the Special Ed staff looked at my parents and asked are you really going to support her with what she wants to do?  Yes, we are my dad said.  She wants to go away to collage we are going to support her decision and she has the right to a full high school diploma instead of just a certificate.  The staff pointed out that there were going to lots of bumps in the road and the likelihood of someone with a disability to go on and be successful and live on their own was going to be very and most likely not going to happen!

Yes, some of that is true.  However, if I had gone down the road where everyone else had gone, I would be living closer to my parents with limited mobility. It was at age 16 when I started making those choices. Most of my classmates did not move away and live pretty close or with their families. You have to make the choices that are best for you not because everyone else is doing it or it is easier.  But some choices could be great for the short team, but what about the long term and the future?  Isn’t it important to try and get as close to where you want to be as possible?  Its because of all the decisions that I made that I am where I am and not settling for where the people expect me to be.

I still to this day get a lot of stereotypes.  I guess that’s what you get for battling the odds and never accepting and listening to people who base things on what they have seen in the movies or read in the books. There is a lot to be learned if you take the time to listen to someone and get to know what their wants and dreams are. Then tell them they can do anything that you put their mind to just never give up. There are things that we might just do as a hobby where we will find our most success in. Success is not measured by how much money you have or how big of a title you have, its about doing the things that make you happy the most and the people that support them.

How do you measure your success

My life could have tuned out very different if people in my life accepted what doctors and educators told them.  At one time, the things that are done now would have never been accepted and noticed due to the fact that it was not considered normal in most of the world’s eyes.

If I had accepted things in my life as they were, my life would not have turned out the way it has so far.  Imagine going through life thinking you were perfect and not realizing that there were areas that you needed help with?   The longer you don’t recognize and these areas, the more difficult your life will be in the long run if you don’t seek out and get help to make things easier.

That was me once upon a time …. If it has to be this, there’s no way in HELL I’m going to do that NO! NO! NO WAY!   

 I once would have told you that I would have said if I can’t to it this way, I’m not going to do that at all.   Where would that have gotten me? I’ll tell you it would of not of gotten me very far.  There would have never been any improvements, just acceptance and not the good kind of acceptance but kind of a resigning myself to that’s just how it is and we cannot do anything about it. 

This is how my life would be….

I was born July 9, 1984 with complications that would leave me with some disabilities, a physical disability called cerebral palsy and some learning disabilities caused by the cerebral policy.  Now naturally that means I will never do anything without assistance.

What if….  Mom and Dad reacted with disappointment and resignation.  “What are we going to do?”  They would say I guess these are things that we are going to have to accept.   She is going to need a lot of care because as the doctors said she is not going to be able to anything that we can do.  She will have trouble walking, and talking.  She may have to me home schooled.   She won’t have very many friends other than family, and will probably be placed in a group home with other people who are mostly different.  She won’t be able to live independently.  We won’t be able to do what we want, when we want, having to take a vote on almost every option given to us to make the decision on her future that is being suggested.”

The options to the paths, roads whatever you want to call them, can change.  You might have to go back and remind yourself that maybe I need to look at the small picture so that the big picture does not look so foggy and does not turn into “it’s impossible“.  If you have the passions for something you should never give up on them and through patience and drive you can be as successful as you are capable of becoming.   Sometimes there are changes that you need to make in order to achieve success.

It is very rare that you end up doing what you dreamed of as a kid and that your hobbies turn into your dream job.  If I had not taken the chances that I did, my life would not have tuned out as it has so far.  Success does not always come by how much you earn or by the status of your job but by all the times you succeed when no one thinks you can instead of taking the easy way and just settling because you are afraid to fail.